NukeSilo Community

Post your funny quotes here. I'll start the thread with one that my friend said awhile back. (It's true as well). When I die I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not like the screaming passengers in his car.

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Name: Tristan 'The Saint' Riordon
Job: NCPD Assistant Chief
Active:Weekends

Not all chemicals are bad. Water, for example, a vital ingredient of beer

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I like that quote of zdrok wanting to blow Saddam. I'll edit it in when I remember where I saw it at..

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[20:17] <Duckeh> I didn't agree to anything, I just pressed a box that said I did

`Beef[a] Quit (G-lined (Roses are red, violets are blue, you're illegally trading steam IDs on my network, so now I gline you))

For those of you who don't know, g-line = global ban from the entire irc network

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NukeSilo Head of Human Resources
GameSurge Support Operator | http://gamesurge.net - #gamesurge
Gather Network Administrator | http://gather-network.eu - #gather-network

This one Ryoma?

Blue Destiny: If you could sleep with any person in the world, who would you sleep with?
zdrok: uhh
zdrok: Osama bin Laden, so I can blow him to hell
zdrok: oh s**t
zdrok: that came out wrong

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Yeah, that one... LOL

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[20:17] <Duckeh> I didn't agree to anything, I just pressed a box that said I did

LOOOOL

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Name: Tristan 'The Saint' Riordon
Job: NCPD Assistant Chief
Active:Weekends

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Wake Kipper - Nuke City Deputy Police Commissioner

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?
A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

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"If we don't get rid of this spy, pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today."

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "if I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your own wife fell three times this week."

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"If we don't get rid of this spy, pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today."

I wanted to share a little joke I came up with the other night when I was suffering from insomnia. I'm gonna use it in my portion of our school's Last Comic Standing gig coming up next weekend. So why not try it now, right? It goes something like this...

In my experience, I've found that going to bars is a lot like playing blackjack:

If you're under 21, chances are you won't get anything.
If you're 21, you're golden.
And if you're over 21, you're gonna get busted because you probably hit on something that was under 18.

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Taught by Tracer

i lol'ed

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"If we don't get rid of this spy, pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today."

What do you call 2 girls in a cabinet?
A liquor cabinet.



there are three cars with drivers flirting with a passenger in another car as they drive by.
The first chick winks at him. He asks the driver, "what do i do what do i do?" he replies, "say hi"

The second chick is a redhead who blows a kiss. He asks what do i do, what do i do man? he replied "smile at her"

The third chick was a blonde. She flashes him and he goes dude what do i do, what do i do!? He replied, show her your nuts!!!!
The passenger nods, turns around, and sticks his thumbs in his ears going loblobloooo!

Six Flags should model a roller coaster after the stock market. It would just go up and down for months on end. And if you didn't like the ride you got the first time, the government would have to pay for you to ride it again. Really, the only bad thing about it is that it would crash fairly often.

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Taught by Tracer

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Wake Kipper - Nuke City Deputy Police Commissioner

I told this joke to you, and pretty much everyone I know, except the blonde is a Jew.
It's alot funnier, because that's a smart thing to do, not a dumb thing to do.


I'm Jewish! I can make those kind of jokes!

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Servers, unite! Join the TSRP coalition!

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Let the dumb b*tch wash the dishes in the dark.

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Thats f**king hillarious.

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Boom.

couple i got from my friends.

"People said a black person wouldn't be elected president unless pigs flew, 81 days (or so) after Obama's election, swine flu."

"A human typically has 206 bones (or sooooo...), but how can a woman give him a 207th...?"

And a question: "If there are 1000 d*cks on the wall, how many would you choke on?"

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[21:22] <@Supernuker> I wonder how you made it out of elementary school sometimes Toretto...
[21:22] <@Toretto> Elementary?
[21:26] <@Supernuker> ....

{AU} Vincetti [I'M NOT LOUIE]: is that someone jacking off?