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I'm supposed to be the admin who never blows his composure,
Even though I hold the weight of the server on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my friends ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with the devil I woudln't care
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some s*it ever does pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
That flaming s*it I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it
There's a certain line you just don't cross and they crossed it
I saw them bullshit a friend in a post and I just lost it
It was crazy, this s*it went way beyond some petty flames and bullshit favortism
And even though the battle was won, I feel like I lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This isnt what I'm am admin for, it's not why I got into it
That was never my objective for the server to fall apart
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build?
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions were good
I went through my whole admin career without ever mentionin' s*it
And that was just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus friends told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While they are all over the forums down talkin' friends who literally saved my life
Like f**k it i understand this is business
And this s*it just isn't none of my business
But f**k it, I made this s*it my business
But still knowin' this s*it could pop off at any minute.
There used to be a time when you could just make a post
And wouldn't have to worry about people quitin' or cryin'
But now it's elevated because once you put personal s*it in them
The s*it gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a whole different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just talkin'
We actually tried to stop s*it like the Aero and Falcon beef from happenin' (More people than just them.)
Me and Deebz had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start s*it and he wasn't gonna go after him
Until falcon started yappin' on the forums how we softend 'em
f**k it Aero smashed 'em, mashed 'em and let him have it, forgetting what we asked him not to do.
Meanwhile my attention was pullin' in other directions
Some long-lost friend at school who sees me one day (A wile back.)
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his keyboard and start up gamin'
But now he's fucked the game up because one of the ways I came up
Was through a server the same one that made me known
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'?
Well f*ck it, that mother-f*cker can get it too, f*ck him then
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think
That we still have players that are sitting online, watching us fight
That are willing to get on for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a post or a thread
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have 'em around and with us
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't try to have none of my friends hurt or insulted
It ain't worth it, I can't think of a better way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to just sit, do nothing, and watch ya'll fight
I'll walk away and resign from it all before I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm sayin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at the jaws and stop flamin'
Because frankly I'm sick of talkin' s*it, and dealing with flames
Im about to just get up and walk away becasue.
I'm not gonna let someone elses hurt feelings or resignation from RP rest on my conscious.
~ Shadow Jones
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Original song : Like Toy Soldiers By Eminem
Molded by me to send a message to you all. (Hence the underlined part of the post)
If you think this is stupid I dont care, I just wanted to post this.
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- Mentored by Barda
- Officially given the title One of Nine.
- Maxwell's Personal Assassin
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