NukeSilo Community
It is currently 26 Nov 2024, 07:05

Unanswered topics | Active topics


» »

All times are UTC-06:00



Post new topic  Reply to topic  Page 1 of 2
  [ 40 posts ]  Go to page 1 2 Next
  Print view Previous topic | Next topic 
Author Message
Maxwell Murder
PostPosted: 20 Mar 2006, 20:44 
Offline
Manager
User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2005, 12:11
Posts: 1616
Location: Hustleburg
Luke, reading your one post got me thinking about this...

And no, I don't have the ultimate collection, and I've never visited the main site http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com but I have a few to get you started. You guys have to help. Just post the ones you like.

Every night, before the Boogeyman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

(explicit. I apologize)
Chuck Norris wears ribbed condoms inside out so he gets the pleasure.

On the Oregon trail, Chuck Norris' family does not die from diseases and starvation but rather from roundhouse kicks to the face. Chuck doesn't need a wagon because he carries his belongings and the oxen on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

_________________
Taught by Tracer
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
USN SEAL
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 20 Mar 2006, 21:03 
Offline
Banned
User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2005, 08:34
Posts: 634
Location: New York
Ive Read alot of Thease. From my School to World Of warcraft Chuck Norris Jokes have seemed to have gotten Popular.

_________________
Image
Top
   
Reply with quote  
Dr. Dre
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 20 Mar 2006, 22:00 
Offline
NukeSilo | This is my Home Page
User avatar

Joined: 06 Apr 2005, 18:30
Posts: 1643
Location: Compton, L.A. Thug Level: Straight OG
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f**k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

_________________
Image
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
USN SEAL
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 20 Mar 2006, 22:09 
Offline
Banned
User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2005, 08:34
Posts: 634
Location: New York
Ive Heared them all lol. People at my School have probably Recited each one every day.

_________________
Image
Top
   
Reply with quote  
Maxwell Murder
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Mar 2006, 05:39 
Offline
Manager
User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2005, 12:11
Posts: 1616
Location: Hustleburg
That's a good thing compared to what is taking my school...dead baby jokes...

I'll have to remember some of the other CN jokes I liked. Thanks for those Dre.

_________________
Taught by Tracer
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Maxwell Murder
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 24 Mar 2006, 23:38 
Offline
Manager
User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2005, 12:11
Posts: 1616
Location: Hustleburg
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried...ever.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

_________________
Taught by Tracer
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Jesse
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 24 Mar 2006, 23:43 
Offline
NukeSilo | Regular
User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2005, 16:01
Posts: 849
xfire: je55e
Location: Eyeglass Repair Shop
Chuck Norris can sit while standing.

I just made that one up. Cool

_________________
Akhiv wrote:
Open up I'm a medic!
FalconBK wrote:
BTW Im a suck up..
Somasu wrote:
Ohh jesse,your so strong and manly

Image
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Maxwell Murder
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 24 Mar 2006, 23:54 
Offline
Manager
User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2005, 12:11
Posts: 1616
Location: Hustleburg
Hmmm...do you think Chuck Norris might be a fictional depiction of our very own Jesse? Jesse has been awarded the status of l337 sk337!

President Bush found a whole new way to end the war in Iraq...too bad Chuck Norris was busy.

_________________
Taught by Tracer
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Jesse
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 25 Mar 2006, 03:26 
Offline
NukeSilo | Regular
User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2005, 16:01
Posts: 849
xfire: je55e
Location: Eyeglass Repair Shop
Maxwell Murder wrote:
Hmmm...do you think Chuck Norris might be a fictional depiction of our very own Jesse?


Eh, it's been thrown around.

_________________
Akhiv wrote:
Open up I'm a medic!
FalconBK wrote:
BTW Im a suck up..
Somasu wrote:
Ohh jesse,your so strong and manly

Image
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Mr. Fax Sender
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 25 Mar 2006, 10:31 
Offline
Banned

Joined: 11 Feb 2006, 21:36
Posts: 283
How did reading one of my posts make you think of this?

Ohhhh, the one of chuck norris ending the wars? Very Happy

_________________
Image
~ Luke Polito ~
Top
   
Reply with quote  
dead poetic
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 25 Mar 2006, 10:43 
Offline
Nuke | Heavy Poster
User avatar

Joined: 02 Nov 2005, 14:01
Posts: 201
Location: Mecklenburg
Chuck norris can light an ant on fire with a magnifying glass-at night

_________________
Image
Image
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Maxwell Murder
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 25 Mar 2006, 22:19 
Offline
Manager
User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2005, 12:11
Posts: 1616
Location: Hustleburg
Mr. Fax Sender wrote:
How did reading one of my posts make you think of this?

Ohhhh, the one of chuck norris ending the wars? Very Happy


Si.

_________________
Taught by Tracer
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
qwertyman
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 23 Apr 2006, 00:33 
Offline
Newbie
User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2005, 21:38
Posts: 8
When Chuck Noris jumps into water he dosnt get wet, the water gets Chuck Noris.

Chuck Noris built a time machine. Went back in time and grabbed the bullet that kill J.F.K. out of mid air. J.F.K.'s head exploded out of amazment.

Chuck Noris isnt hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Noris.

Chuck Noris once ate two 72 Oz. steaks in 1 hour, and he spent the fiirst 45 minutes having sex with the waitress.

_________________
|30|3/-\ []>\/\/ /\/5 J00 /\/00|35
cause Boba is teh...
_.-*^*-.__.-*^*-._R0xx0Rz_.-*^*-.__.-*^*-._
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Shippo Fox
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 23 Apr 2006, 00:45 
Offline
NukeSilo | Heavy Poster
User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2005, 14:36
Posts: 460
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html
I win? =p
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Gordon Bortelli
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 30 Jul 2006, 14:40 
Offline
Nuke | Medium Poster
User avatar

Joined: 23 Jul 2006, 23:50
Posts: 178
Location: The In and Out
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got it.

Chuck Norris only Masturbates to pics of Chuck norris (sorry if explicit)

Chuck Norris was born with a beard.
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
JP Holland
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 30 Aug 2006, 04:08 
Offline
NukeSilo | Light Poster

Joined: 20 Aug 2006, 11:40
Posts: 298
Location: Los Angeles, Califonia
a handy cap spot isnt for the handy cap. it means the spot is for chuck norris and he'll make u handy cap is u park there.

GOD said let there be light
Chuck Norris said "say please"

_________________
Image
Image
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
perlov0
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 30 Aug 2006, 06:23 
Offline
Manager
User avatar

Joined: 03 Jan 2006, 09:27
Posts: 1246
Location: Knoxville TN
JP Holland wrote:
GOD said let there be light
Chuck Norris said "say please"



that is the only chuck norris joke that is remotely funny


But next time, don't bump a topic up thats this old
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Blade Vanspike
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 30 Aug 2006, 21:02 
Offline
NukeSilo | Heavy Poster
User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2006, 17:57
Posts: 432
Chuck Norris only became funny because he starred in basketball and did a stupid smile + thumbs up... =\

_________________
My last words will probably be:
Sorry
(or)
God da*nit
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Jim Frank
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 16 Nov 2006, 22:48 
Offline
Heavy Poster

Joined: 03 Jul 2006, 20:28
Posts: 66
Chuck Norris walked down the street with a major erection one day....... nobody survived.

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now their just called the Islands.

Did you know that the film Anaconda was filmed in Chuck Norris's pants?

Chuck Norris said he could beat all the cancers like Lance Armstrong so he smoked 15 packs of Cigarrettes a day for 3 years. He developed all types of cancer. He practiced martial arts for 30 minutes and all the cancer went away. He later said "Beat that Lance".
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
deebz
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Nov 2006, 15:56 
Offline
Nuke | Heavy Poster
User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2005, 16:42
Posts: 219
xfire: deebz2k5
Blade Vanspike wrote:
Chuck Norris only became funny because he starred in basketball and did a stupid smile + thumbs up... =\


Dodgeball?
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Ryan Zipline Hayter
 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Nov 2006, 16:21 
Offline
NukeSilo | Regular
User avatar

Joined: 21 Mar 2006, 17:06
Posts: 580
Location: It got my knife.
I think he meant to say that.

_________________
Image
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Revven
PostPosted: 03 Feb 2008, 17:19 
Offline
Normal Poster

Joined: 27 Jan 2008, 20:24
Posts: 46
Location: San Fransisco
I'm sorry, had to bring this from the dead once more...

*AHEM*

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

_________________
Image
---------------
TREADWELL '08 - Vote Treadwell!
---------------
Name: James R. Treadwell
Age: 25
Occupation: Mayor Candidate
Residing Chief: -

The Doctor wrote:
People assume that time is a strict progression from cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective view point it's more like a big ball of wibbley wobbly...timey wimey...stuff...
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
darkapples
PostPosted: 03 Feb 2008, 19:33 
Offline
NukeSilo | Light Poster
User avatar

Joined: 11 Jan 2006, 23:25
Posts: 291
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Children piss their names in the snow, but Chuck Norris pisses his name in concrete.

Chuck Norris has sex with every woman on the planet at least twice a month, and as a result they bleed for two weeks.

_________________
Jon 'D.A.' Laten
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
barda
PostPosted: 03 Feb 2008, 21:50 
Offline
NukeSilo | Regular
User avatar

Joined: 26 May 2005, 00:51
Posts: 511
Location: Dre's moms house
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris stares into a mirror, it shatters. Because, even glass isn't dumb enough to stand between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

_________________
Image

Quote:
Two hours later Shultz still wondering about the night befor called up his drinking buddy Katamari and asked what happen,although katamaris speech was slurred due to being hung over shultz could still make out some of it,"durrr we weresz at teh bar and teh fat hoe be looking up at you and she be saying sumethin bout darts and indians scalpen mexicans"
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Maxwell Murder
PostPosted: 04 Feb 2008, 00:54 
Offline
Manager
User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2005, 12:11
Posts: 1616
Location: Hustleburg
Haha, I like the second one Shultz. But I beat you to the first one earlier in the thread :P

_________________
Taught by Tracer
Top
  Send private message  
Reply with quote  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  Page 1 of 2
  [ 40 posts ]  Go to page 1 2 Next

» »

All times are UTC-06:00

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited