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 Post subject: Three Chinese Tortures
PostPosted: 15 Nov 2005, 08:06 
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NukeSilo | Light Poster
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Joined: 01 Oct 2005, 22:15
Posts: 250
Location: Kentucky
Okay so there was this guy and he needed a place to stay and he ended up at the doorstep of this house belonging to an older chinese guy. The chinese man said he could stay but on one condition, that he didn't do anything with his daughter otherwise he would suffer 3 chinese tortures. The man agreed, thinking that since the gentlemen was pretty old that his daughter might be as well.

Well that night they were having dinner and the daughter came down and she was just the hottest thing this guy had ever seen, and she kept flitting her eyes at him and eating the food seductively etc.

When it was time for bed he quickly went up to his room and stayed in there but she came in anyway telling him she wanted him. He refused her wiles and she left and went back to her room. Finally he couldn't take it anymore and went into her room later that night and they had the best sex imaginable.

That morning he woke up with a large rock on his chest. There was a note attached so he read it, "Chinese Torture #1: Big Rock Tied To Chest." He laughed thinking if that was the best that the old man could do then there would be no problem, so he threw the rock out the window. That's when he noticed there was a rope attached and another note. It read, "Chinese Torture #2: Big Rock tied to right testicle." So he jumped out the window after the rock before the rope could go out. That's when he noticed the final note, it read, "Chinese Torture #3: Left testicle tied to bed."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 15 Nov 2005, 09:00 
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NukeSilo | Regular
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Joined: 26 May 2005, 00:51
Posts: 511
Location: Dre's moms house
Lol. Nice, I haven't heard this one.

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Two hours later Shultz still wondering about the night befor called up his drinking buddy Katamari and asked what happen,although katamaris speech was slurred due to being hung over shultz could still make out some of it,"durrr we weresz at teh bar and teh fat hoe be looking up at you and she be saying sumethin bout darts and indians scalpen mexicans"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 15 Nov 2005, 11:14 
OUCH!! HAHAHA


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 15 Nov 2005, 15:06 
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Joined: 15 May 2005, 16:26
Posts: 1318
Location: Olympia, WA Job: CIA Admin
Heard it before, but still great Smile

Ow...

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[size=20:d2ee09d6ce][b:d2ee09d6ce][color=red:d2ee09d6ce]1000 Posts Post![/color:d2ee09d6ce][/b:d2ee09d6ce][/size:d2ee09d6ce]
Shippo Fox wrote:
Supernuker wrote:
I still say we should add a little fox den area in somewhere.

Yeah, that would be nice ^.^

Can I play Fox House with you guys ^.^ Love you all ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 15 Nov 2005, 16:03 
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Joined: 03 Sep 2005, 18:40
Posts: 240
Location: In the Sewers of Mecklenburg
R O F L LOLOLOL

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Mr. Timmeh Polito


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 16 Nov 2005, 18:33 
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NukeSilo | Light Poster

Joined: 18 Sep 2005, 18:55
Posts: 317
Location: Kennewick,WA
*Cough*ebaumsworld or newgrounds*cough*


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Nov 2005, 07:20 
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NukeSilo | Light Poster
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Joined: 01 Oct 2005, 22:15
Posts: 250
Location: Kentucky
What?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Nov 2005, 10:25 
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NukeSilo | This is my Home Page

Joined: 16 May 2005, 02:15
Posts: 1651
wait, whys that funny?

cuz his balls are gone?

man i know a better real-life story


a goalie on a rival lacrosse team one day lost his cup, but he didnt say anything cuz he wanted to play. So he played without a cup. All was going fine until some forward for another team ran with the lacrosse ball for the shot. He flung the ball at the goal and the ball was going around 80 MPH. Instead of going into the goal, the ball slammed into where the goalies cup shouldve been, and well, popped one of his testicles -_-, and when i say popped it literally popped it


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Nov 2005, 11:22 
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NukeSilo | Light Poster
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Joined: 01 Oct 2005, 22:15
Posts: 250
Location: Kentucky
Oh yeah?! Well I've seen a video where there's a free kick in a soccer game right by the goal. So the other team makes this wall right? With their bodies of course and of course as is custom they cover their balls with their hands. Well, one of the guys is too scared so he turns around. So the kicker kicks the ball in a curving fashion and it goes over the wall of guy's heads, curves into the goal post, and bounces back into the turned around guy's nuts which he wasn't protecting because he didn't think he had to. Ha!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 Nov 2005, 17:32 
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NukeSilo | Regular
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Joined: 05 Oct 2005, 18:34
Posts: 880
Location: Fallbrook
Donovan James wrote:
*Cough*ebaumsworld or newgrounds*cough*


we care y?

OUCH!!!!!!!!! Worst pain imaginable i bet!


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