NukeSilo Community :: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection

Chuck Norris' wife had 3 stillborn babies.......they all survived
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in funeral
Superman's cape is made from Chuck Norris' underwear
When Chuck Norris makes his coffee in the morning, he grinds the beans with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.
Chuck Norris is the force.
Chuck Norris beat a man to death with his own corpse
Chuck Norris already roundhouse'd Pluto out of tyhe solar system, he's going for Uranus next.
Chuck Norris can't see dead people, Chuck Norris makes dead people.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen, oxygen needs him
Chuck Norris has the most original cowboy boots in the world.......the are made out of cowboys.
Chuck Norris can catch your breath......and hold it hostage.
When a young boy wrote "chuck norris" with lowercase letters Chuck Norris made sure he never wrote again.
Chuck Norris allows jokes of himself for one reason: to fufill his hobby of adding names to his list titled, " Authors who will die a horrible blood drenched death via roundhouse kick"
s*it happens, except to Chuck Norris
God was in a jam so he asked Chuck Norris if he could "do him a solid"...... now we have heaven AND earth.
Chuck Norris just took command of the military, all missions past, present, and future have been accomplished
Chuck Norris doesn't T-Bag, he Potatoe Sacks.

Author:	Pottymouth [ 04 Feb 2008, 14:26 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Chuck Norris once shot down a plane by pointing his finger at it and shouting 'Bang' Much lulz endured in this thread

Author:	Revven [ 04 Feb 2008, 16:51 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Bounty originally planned to use Chuck Norris as their mascot, but soon realized that no paper towels could clean-up any mess by Chuck Norris.

Author:	Gizm0 [ 03 Oct 2008, 19:09 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Chuck Norris once ate 5 64 ounce steaks in one hour, but he spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Author:	Mikhail Zhukov [ 21 Oct 2008, 18:00 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Chuck Norris has the best poker face in the world. he won the 1989 World Series of poker even though all he had was a joker, a get out of jail free card, a two of spades, a seven of clubs, and a green #4 card from UNO. Chuck Norris CAN touch this How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck norris? all of it

Author:	JakeMassa [ 18 Nov 2008, 01:36 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Chuck Norris is so tough that he mows his lawn by going outside and saying "I dare you to grow"

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The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection https://forums.nukesilo.net/viewtopic.php?f=41&t=4490	Page 2 of 2

Author:	James_Vincetti [ 11 Feb 2009, 11:27 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
JakeMassa wrote: Chuck Norris is so tough that he mows his lawn by going outside and saying "I dare you to grow" LOL. Chuck Norris doesn't poop, it runs in fear. Chuck Norris walked down a street one day, and a japanese man shouted "Ah! Chuck Norris!" Chuck Norris shot the sheriff. He punched the Deputy.

Author:	LolQuite [ 11 Feb 2009, 22:49 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
There was life on Mars, it's just that Chuck Norris got there before us.

Author:	Zurrag [ 16 Feb 2009, 03:19 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down untill they give him the information he wants. They say that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked somebody so hard it went back in time and hit Amelia Earhart while she was over the Bermuda Triangle.

Author:	Slippy [ 12 Mar 2009, 00:06 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Chuck Norris can taste Lies. Chuck Norris's pulse is measured on the Richter scale. America is not a Democracy, but a "Chucktatorship". Chuck Norris crossed the road, and no one ever dared to question his motives. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi. Chuck Norris can in fact "Raise the Roof", and he can do it with one hand. Chuck Norris can believe its butter.

Author:	Mikhail Zhukov [ 12 Mar 2009, 06:46 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Chuck Norris' wife had 3 stillborn babies.......they all survived Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in funeral Superman's cape is made from Chuck Norris' underwear When Chuck Norris makes his coffee in the morning, he grinds the beans with his teeth and boils the water with his rage. Chuck Norris is the force. Chuck Norris beat a man to death with his own corpse Chuck Norris already roundhouse'd Pluto out of tyhe solar system, he's going for Uranus next. Chuck Norris can't see dead people, Chuck Norris makes dead people. Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen, oxygen needs him Chuck Norris has the most original cowboy boots in the world.......the are made out of cowboys. Chuck Norris can catch your breath......and hold it hostage. When a young boy wrote "chuck norris" with lowercase letters Chuck Norris made sure he never wrote again. Chuck Norris allows jokes of himself for one reason: to fufill his hobby of adding names to his list titled, " Authors who will die a horrible blood drenched death via roundhouse kick" s*it happens, except to Chuck Norris God was in a jam so he asked Chuck Norris if he could "do him a solid"...... now we have heaven AND earth. Chuck Norris just took command of the military, all missions past, present, and future have been accomplished Chuck Norris doesn't T-Bag, he Potatoe Sacks.

Author:	Slippy [ 13 Mar 2009, 00:04 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Mikhail Zhukov wrote: Chuck Norris' wife had 3 stillborn babies.......they all survived Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in funeral Superman's cape is made from Chuck Norris' underwear When Chuck Norris makes his coffee in the morning, he grinds the beans with his teeth and boils the water with his rage. Chuck Norris is the force. Chuck Norris beat a man to death with his own corpse Chuck Norris already roundhouse'd Pluto out of tyhe solar system, he's going for Uranus next. Chuck Norris can't see dead people, Chuck Norris makes dead people. Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen, oxygen needs him Chuck Norris has the most original cowboy boots in the world.......the are made out of cowboys. Chuck Norris can catch your breath......and hold it hostage. When a young boy wrote "chuck norris" with lowercase letters Chuck Norris made sure he never wrote again. Chuck Norris allows jokes of himself for one reason: to fufill his hobby of adding names to his list titled, " Authors who will die a horrible blood drenched death via roundhouse kick" sit happens, except to Chuck Norris God was in a jam so he asked Chuck Norris if he could "do him a solid"...... now we have heaven AND earth. Chuck Norris just took command of the military, all missions past, present, and future have been accomplished Chuck Norris doesn't T-Bag, he Potatoe Sacks.* LAWLLAWLLAWLLAWLLAWLLAWLLAWL!

Author:	OBrian [ 17 Mar 2009, 16:02 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Jesus once walked on water but Chuck Norris swam through land

Author:	khatool [ 04 May 2009, 08:52 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Chuck Norris is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives PRECISELEY when he means to

Author:	Zurrag [ 16 Jun 2009, 18:26 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
Sorry for bump Chuck Norris doesn't eat, food just knows that the only safe place from Chuck Norris is inside Chuck Norris.

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Author:	Johnny5 [ 12 Jan 2014, 22:23 ]
Post subject:	Re: The Ultimate Chuck Norris Collection
hah