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Maxwell Murder
PostPosted: 20 Mar 2006, 20:44 
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Luke, reading your one post got me thinking about this...

And no, I don't have the ultimate collection, and I've never visited the main site http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com but I have a few to get you started. You guys have to help. Just post the ones you like.

Every night, before the Boogeyman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

(explicit. I apologize)
Chuck Norris wears ribbed condoms inside out so he gets the pleasure.

On the Oregon trail, Chuck Norris' family does not die from diseases and starvation but rather from roundhouse kicks to the face. Chuck doesn't need a wagon because he carries his belongings and the oxen on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

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USN SEAL
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PostPosted: 20 Mar 2006, 21:03 
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Ive Read alot of Thease. From my School to World Of warcraft Chuck Norris Jokes have seemed to have gotten Popular.

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Dr. Dre
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PostPosted: 20 Mar 2006, 22:00 
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f**k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

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USN SEAL
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PostPosted: 20 Mar 2006, 22:09 
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Ive Heared them all lol. People at my School have probably Recited each one every day.

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Maxwell Murder
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PostPosted: 21 Mar 2006, 05:39 
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That's a good thing compared to what is taking my school...dead baby jokes...

I'll have to remember some of the other CN jokes I liked. Thanks for those Dre.

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Maxwell Murder
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PostPosted: 24 Mar 2006, 23:38 
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried...ever.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

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Jesse
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PostPosted: 24 Mar 2006, 23:43 
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Chuck Norris can sit while standing.

I just made that one up. Cool

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Maxwell Murder
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PostPosted: 24 Mar 2006, 23:54 
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Hmmm...do you think Chuck Norris might be a fictional depiction of our very own Jesse? Jesse has been awarded the status of l337 sk337!

President Bush found a whole new way to end the war in Iraq...too bad Chuck Norris was busy.

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Jesse
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PostPosted: 25 Mar 2006, 03:26 
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Maxwell Murder wrote:
Hmmm...do you think Chuck Norris might be a fictional depiction of our very own Jesse?


Eh, it's been thrown around.

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Mr. Fax Sender
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PostPosted: 25 Mar 2006, 10:31 
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How did reading one of my posts make you think of this?

Ohhhh, the one of chuck norris ending the wars? Very Happy

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dead poetic
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PostPosted: 25 Mar 2006, 10:43 
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Chuck norris can light an ant on fire with a magnifying glass-at night

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Maxwell Murder
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PostPosted: 25 Mar 2006, 22:19 
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Mr. Fax Sender wrote:
How did reading one of my posts make you think of this?

Ohhhh, the one of chuck norris ending the wars? Very Happy


Si.

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qwertyman
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PostPosted: 23 Apr 2006, 00:33 
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When Chuck Noris jumps into water he dosnt get wet, the water gets Chuck Noris.

Chuck Noris built a time machine. Went back in time and grabbed the bullet that kill J.F.K. out of mid air. J.F.K.'s head exploded out of amazment.

Chuck Noris isnt hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Noris.

Chuck Noris once ate two 72 Oz. steaks in 1 hour, and he spent the fiirst 45 minutes having sex with the waitress.

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Shippo Fox
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PostPosted: 23 Apr 2006, 00:45 
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http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html
I win? =p
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Gordon Bortelli
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PostPosted: 30 Jul 2006, 14:40 
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got it.

Chuck Norris only Masturbates to pics of Chuck norris (sorry if explicit)

Chuck Norris was born with a beard.
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JP Holland
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PostPosted: 30 Aug 2006, 04:08 
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a handy cap spot isnt for the handy cap. it means the spot is for chuck norris and he'll make u handy cap is u park there.

GOD said let there be light
Chuck Norris said "say please"

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perlov0
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PostPosted: 30 Aug 2006, 06:23 
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JP Holland wrote:
GOD said let there be light
Chuck Norris said "say please"



that is the only chuck norris joke that is remotely funny


But next time, don't bump a topic up thats this old
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Blade Vanspike
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PostPosted: 30 Aug 2006, 21:02 
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Chuck Norris only became funny because he starred in basketball and did a stupid smile + thumbs up... =\

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Jim Frank
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PostPosted: 16 Nov 2006, 22:48 
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Chuck Norris walked down the street with a major erection one day....... nobody survived.

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now their just called the Islands.

Did you know that the film Anaconda was filmed in Chuck Norris's pants?

Chuck Norris said he could beat all the cancers like Lance Armstrong so he smoked 15 packs of Cigarrettes a day for 3 years. He developed all types of cancer. He practiced martial arts for 30 minutes and all the cancer went away. He later said "Beat that Lance".
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deebz
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PostPosted: 17 Nov 2006, 15:56 
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Blade Vanspike wrote:
Chuck Norris only became funny because he starred in basketball and did a stupid smile + thumbs up... =\


Dodgeball?
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Ryan Zipline Hayter
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PostPosted: 17 Nov 2006, 16:21 
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I think he meant to say that.

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Revven
PostPosted: 03 Feb 2008, 17:19 
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I'm sorry, had to bring this from the dead once more...

*AHEM*

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

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darkapples
PostPosted: 03 Feb 2008, 19:33 
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Children piss their names in the snow, but Chuck Norris pisses his name in concrete.

Chuck Norris has sex with every woman on the planet at least twice a month, and as a result they bleed for two weeks.

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barda
PostPosted: 03 Feb 2008, 21:50 
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Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris stares into a mirror, it shatters. Because, even glass isn't dumb enough to stand between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

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Two hours later Shultz still wondering about the night befor called up his drinking buddy Katamari and asked what happen,although katamaris speech was slurred due to being hung over shultz could still make out some of it,"durrr we weresz at teh bar and teh fat hoe be looking up at you and she be saying sumethin bout darts and indians scalpen mexicans"
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Maxwell Murder
PostPosted: 04 Feb 2008, 00:54 
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Haha, I like the second one Shultz. But I beat you to the first one earlier in the thread :P

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