NukeSilo Community
https://forums.nukesilo.net/

Shaves for a dollar!
https://forums.nukesilo.net/viewtopic.php?f=109&t=7654		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  khatool [ 17 Mar 2009, 18:59 ]
Post subject:  Shaves for a dollar!
He paid.

He bought a gun from Zach, and paid for it, which, although it was a good thing, still gave Zach a little dissappointment.

Zach had been giving him a shave in the backroom of the bar, and hinted that he had some weaponry for sale, and the man purchased.

But as he counted his 300 dollars, Zach could not shake the feeling that it had been an anti-climax, he had been hoping the man was liget and not interested in such things.


"Hello? I heard you were giving shaves for $1?"

Zach looked over at the door, his exitement building up again as his optimism returned.

"Yes sir! Come in, come in!"


The man sat down on a crate, as Zach began to apply shaving cream on his chin.

"So," Said Zach "Tell me about yourself"

"What is there to tell?"

"Well," Zach said as he began slowly cutting the stubble from the man's chin, "What are your interests? Do you like poker? Perhaps you enjoy hunting, target shooting, or something to do with guns?"

"Well, now that you mention it," the man said, relaxing as the razor passed over him once more, "I think guns are pretty cool."

Inside his head, Zach cursed. It would seem he found another customer. Why, when the man was so tantalizingly at ease, totally in his power? This man was filth, allowing himself to be tricked so easily. Zach had triumphed over him, and would not get his reward! Zach gazed down at the man's exposed jugular. There was no feeling quite like winning in the game of life and death. He knew that, one day, he would lose to somebody, and lay dead somewhere, but that's what made it fun! The knowledge that he had been the victor this time, that HE had beaten the poor sould who actually thought that somebody would give $1 shaves in this economy! Many people would say that Zach was a sociopath, but Zach knew he was no sociopath...he was an artist.

"What stops you from buying guns?" Zach asked, admitting defeat in his mind.

"No license, to tell you the truth" The man said, closing his eyes as the razor took more hair off of his chin.

"What would you say if I offered you guns, no questions asked"

The man's syes opened. "I would leave this establishment and call the police" he said, a touch of anger in his voice.

"Would you?" Asked Zach softly, his chest suddenly about to burst open from the pressure his heart hammering on it so suddenly. He gripped the man's forehead tighter with his left hand, his right hand moving his razor to the other side of the man's throat.

Zach felt him tense in his hand, and felt a rush of joy, for there was nothing better than the fear a man displays just before he dies, just before he loses this game. This is what he lived for, executing those people who were inferior to him. Some people had taken to calling him Sweeney, due to the passion he had for his method of dealing death.

He thought of that play, Sweeney Todd, and the Tim Burton film based on it. They were the two most artistic things the world had ever created, and he cherished them.

"Hey! What are you-"

But he was cut short as Zach sung "Johannnaaaaaaa" mournfully, savoring the sound of the man's throat being sliced open. Blood sprayed forwards, all over the bar floorboards.

The man dove off the crate and fell onto his back, rolling onto his back as he clutched his neck, desperately trying to keep in the blood that was leaving him like an emo super soaker. But then the mist of blood turned into a small trickle, and the man's movements became slow and heavy. He gave one last jerk, and lay still.

Zach hurriedly desposed of the body, wiping up the blood. He had just thrown away the last blood soaked rag when another knock at the door was heard.

Zach opened it, only to see a police officer in full uniform.

Zach's mind went reeling. He had already reached into his coat for a pistol when the officer spoke the only words that truly made Zach happy.

"I heard you give free shaves to police officers?"
Author:  Eric [ 19 Mar 2009, 14:02 ]
Post subject:  Re: Shaves for a dollar!
//*Eric walks into the bar, sees a pile of bodies in a pool of blood and Zach with a straight razor singing Sweeny Todd.

"What...the...f**k?"

*Eric pulls out his .45 and blows Zach's head off, mumbling about accepting forum applications as he gets a mop to dispose of the blood lake.

((Interesting story)).
Author:  khatool [ 19 Mar 2009, 18:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: Shaves for a dollar!
Eric wrote:
//*Eric walks into the bar, sees a pile of bodies in a pool of blood and Zach with a straight razor singing Sweeny Todd.

"What...the...f**k?"

*Eric pulls out his .45 and blows Zach's head off, mumbling about accepting forum applications as he gets a mop to dispose of the blood lake.

((Interesting story)).



//Who says it was just a sotry? :-D
Author:  Eric [ 19 Mar 2009, 20:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: Shaves for a dollar!
//I swear to god if there's a lake of blood in my bar I really will shoot you.
Author:  Kami O' Joe [ 20 Mar 2009, 08:55 ]
Post subject:  Re: Shaves for a dollar!
Kami O' Joe was strolling by the BAR when he heard the disconcerting sound of a gunshot ring out. He radioed in,
"10-57, shots fired at BAR. I'm gonna invistigate"
Kami then flung open the doors and knocked on the door. He heard no screaming or cursing so he assumed that it very well may have been an accident. Thus he did not headbutt the door off it's hinges and scream NCPD battle-crys. He shouted,
"NCPD, open up in there. You ok?"
A man in a suit and holding a razor in one hand and a can of shaving cream in the other answered the door,
"Hello officer, what's the problem?"
"Sir I heard gunfire", said Kami as backup arrived and stood behind him, "are you ok?"
The man said, "I'm fine sir....hey would you be interested in a shave?"
The idea of a warm shave sounded quite appealing...but something was wrong....oh well. Kami stepped inside, excitedly telling the other officers he was getting a shave. One or two of them turned quite pale, but as they opened their mouths in protest he stepped inside. As the door closed behind him he was suddenly worried....he noticed that 2 other mafia looking individuals were standing in the room, and he also noticed the finger-nail scratch marks on the wall. He was determined to get his shave however, so he ploped in the seat. He shouted to his police comrades outside,
"Tell my family....I done good!"
"Sir", said the man in the suit "what's wrong?"
"Nothing"
As the man started to lather Kami up, and the blade passed slowly over his face, he was rather suprised to hear the man singing a rather bad song...Kami knew he had to change the tune, he sung:
"I feel pretty...oh so pretty..."
The man continued his song...
"oh so pretty"
The man sung louder...
"and whitty!"
The man's hand tightened onto Kami's forehead. Kami smiled.
"and gay!!!!"
The man bellowed, "Johannaaaaa!!!!" at the same time as Kami said "gay" and he slit kami's throat. The "gay" turned into a gurge as his life-blood pooled on the floor around him. Luckily for Joe, as he was getting his throat cut the two mafioso standing near-bye the masked man decided to join in on the fun: one of them whipped out a pair of pistols. As the man fired wildly into Kami's body he somehow managed to shoot the man with the razor, dropping him whilst he finished the last syllable of "johannaaaa!"

((Lol, this actually happened too. Not exactly like this but it happened :D ))
Author:  khatool [ 20 Mar 2009, 10:41 ]
Post subject:  Re: Shaves for a dollar!
Kami O' Joe wrote:
Kami O' Joe was strolling by the BAR when he heard the disconcerting sound of a gunshot ring out. He radioed in,
"10-57, shots fired at BAR. I'm gonna invistigate"
Kami then flung open the doors and knocked on the door. He heard no screaming or cursing so he assumed that it very well may have been an accident. Thus he did not headbutt the door off it's hinges and scream NCPD battle-crys. He shouted,
"NCPD, open up in there. You ok?"
A man in a suit and holding a razor in one hand and a can of shaving cream in the other answered the door,
"Hello officer, what's the problem?"
"Sir I heard gunfire", said Kami as backup arrived and stood behind him, "are you ok?"
The man said, "I'm fine sir....hey would you be interested in a shave?"
The idea of a warm shave sounded quite appealing...but something was wrong....oh well. Kami stepped inside, excitedly telling the other officers he was getting a shave. One or two of them turned quite pale, but as they opened their mouths in protest he stepped inside. As the door closed behind him he was suddenly worried....he noticed that 2 other mafia looking individuals were standing in the room, and he also noticed the finger-nail scratch marks on the wall. He was determined to get his shave however, so he ploped in the seat. He shouted to his police comrades outside,
"Tell my family....I done good!"
"Sir", said the man in the suit "what's wrong?"
"Nothing"
As the man started to lather Kami up, and the blade passed slowly over his face, he was rather suprised to hear the man singing a rather bad song...Kami knew he had to change the tune, he sung:
"I feel pretty...oh so pretty..."
The man continued his song...
"oh so pretty"
The man sung louder...
"and whitty!"
The man's hand tightened onto Kami's forehead. Kami smiled.
"and gay!!!!"
The man bellowed, "Johannaaaaa!!!!" at the same time as Kami said "gay" and he slit kami's throat. The "gay" turned into a gurge as his life-blood pooled on the floor around him. Luckily for Joe, as he was getting his throat cut the two mafioso standing near-bye the masked man decided to join in on the fun: one of them whipped out a pair of pistols. As the man fired wildly into Kami's body he somehow managed to shoot the man with the razor, dropping him whilst he finished the last syllable of "johannaaaa!"

((Lol, this actually happened too. Not exactly like this but it happened :D ))


//oh lulz. what actually happened was, after I slit your throat, the other guy shot you a few times, ran up to you with a kinfe and started slashing you, then accidentally slashed me to death, lol.
Author:  Kami O' Joe [ 20 Mar 2009, 14:26 ]
Post subject:  Re: Shaves for a dollar!
((Oh, lol))
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC-05:00
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited
https://www.phpbb.com/