((Trying to take a yellow journalism approach here, with hyperbole and exageration and even flat lies in the interest of more popularity))
Goooood morning Nuke City! This is Anchorman Don Vladcik of NCNOW News, in our first broadcast ever!
Some interesting stories today, our street reporter went out in search of especially important stories for us!
First off, we take a look at the new fad of toad abuse by children in our schools, special stories anchorwoman Jeann Joanne joins us now.
Thanks Don!
Toads: a passing fad, like the hippies and the civil rights movement, or a permanent problem in our society? Our street reporter went around the city asking for the opinions of ordinary citizens, then visited the Nuke City Medical Department for more information.
Many people said that they had tried or knew someone who had tried "licking toads", but not just any toads; a special kind of Asian toad that gives off hallucinogens. It's especially a problem in our schools, according to an unnamed source in the Nuke City Medical Department: "I've really noticed it accidentally in the urine samples of some patients we've had". According to another worker in the Medical Department, "We've seen toad abuse cases where the subject isn't even... isn't even out of the second grade! It's ridiculous!". Why doesn't the Nuke City Police Department do something? That leads us into our next article, here's Fracsid Relis recorded live on the streets of Nuke City.
Quote:
I'm Fracsid Relis from NCNOW Radio News, recording this live in front of the NC Medical Department and the NC Police Department. Corruption. It can cause even the best, to fall. Is it the money? The power? The toads? I don't know, but it's obvious that it's taking it's sick hold here, on Nuke City. From toad abuse in our schools that teachers shed a blind eye on, to federal funds shifted to... other tasks, corruption is definitely present. I personally, along with an unnamed source from the NCMD, have taken a close look at the problems it has caused. First, it had led to vast undermanning of both the hospital and the police station; there wasn't even a desk clerk at the police station available to comment for this report. Both the corruption and the understaffed state services have led to a huge rise in the mafia, with gunshots audible earlier on this afternoon as they battled the few officers that the police have available. Later, police returned bearing an armed suspect, and detained him; but will it be enough? Will it be enough to keep the forces of EV-
Aaand, that was a report from Fracsid Relis. That concludes our first broadcast, thank you Jeann, Fracsid! Stay radiant Nuke City!
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