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PostPosted: 04 Feb 2008, 14:26 
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Chuck Norris once shot down a plane by pointing his finger at it and shouting 'Bang'

Much lulz endured in this thread

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PostPosted: 04 Feb 2008, 16:51 
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Joined: 27 Jan 2008, 20:24
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Location: San Fransisco
Bounty originally planned to use Chuck Norris as their mascot, but soon realized that no paper towels could clean-up any mess by Chuck Norris.

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People assume that time is a strict progression from cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective view point it's more like a big ball of wibbley wobbly...timey wimey...stuff...


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PostPosted: 03 Oct 2008, 19:09 
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Joined: 02 Oct 2008, 00:11
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Chuck Norris once ate 5 64 ounce steaks in one hour, but he spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.


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PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 18:00 
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Joined: 19 Oct 2008, 16:49
Posts: 458
Location: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Chuck Norris has the best poker face in the world. he won the 1989 World Series of poker even though all he had was a joker, a get out of jail free card, a two of spades, a seven of clubs, and a green #4 card from UNO.

Chuck Norris CAN touch this

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck norris? all of it

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PostPosted: 18 Nov 2008, 01:36 
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Joined: 23 Sep 2008, 20:36
Posts: 12
Chuck Norris is so tough that he mows his lawn by going outside and saying "I dare you to grow"


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PostPosted: 11 Feb 2009, 11:27 
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Joined: 30 Sep 2008, 21:16
Posts: 227
JakeMassa wrote:
Chuck Norris is so tough that he mows his lawn by going outside and saying "I dare you to grow"


LOL.

Chuck Norris doesn't poop, it runs in fear.

Chuck Norris walked down a street one day, and a japanese man shouted "Ah! Chuck Norris!"

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff. He punched the Deputy.

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PostPosted: 11 Feb 2009, 22:49 
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There was life on Mars, it's just that Chuck Norris got there before us.

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PostPosted: 16 Feb 2009, 03:19 
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Joined: 22 Jul 2008, 00:07
Posts: 184
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down untill they give him the information he wants.

They say that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked somebody so hard it went back in time and hit Amelia Earhart while she was over the Bermuda Triangle.


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PostPosted: 12 Mar 2009, 00:06 
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Joined: 24 Jan 2009, 17:07
Posts: 151
Location: El Paso, Texas
Chuck Norris can taste Lies.
Chuck Norris's pulse is measured on the Richter scale.
America is not a Democracy, but a "Chucktatorship".
Chuck Norris crossed the road, and no one ever dared to question his motives.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris can in fact "Raise the Roof", and he can do it with one hand.
Chuck Norris can believe its butter.

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PostPosted: 12 Mar 2009, 06:46 
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Location: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Chuck Norris' wife had 3 stillborn babies.......they all survived
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in funeral
Superman's cape is made from Chuck Norris' underwear
When Chuck Norris makes his coffee in the morning, he grinds the beans with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.
Chuck Norris is the force.
Chuck Norris beat a man to death with his own corpse
Chuck Norris already roundhouse'd Pluto out of tyhe solar system, he's going for Uranus next.
Chuck Norris can't see dead people, Chuck Norris makes dead people.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen, oxygen needs him
Chuck Norris has the most original cowboy boots in the world.......the are made out of cowboys.
Chuck Norris can catch your breath......and hold it hostage.
When a young boy wrote "chuck norris" with lowercase letters Chuck Norris made sure he never wrote again.
Chuck Norris allows jokes of himself for one reason: to fufill his hobby of adding names to his list titled, " Authors who will die a horrible blood drenched death via roundhouse kick"
s*it happens, except to Chuck Norris
God was in a jam so he asked Chuck Norris if he could "do him a solid"...... now we have heaven AND earth.
Chuck Norris just took command of the military, all missions past, present, and future have been accomplished
Chuck Norris doesn't T-Bag, he Potatoe Sacks.

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PostPosted: 13 Mar 2009, 00:04 
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Joined: 24 Jan 2009, 17:07
Posts: 151
Location: El Paso, Texas
Mikhail Zhukov wrote:
Chuck Norris' wife had 3 stillborn babies.......they all survived
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in funeral
Superman's cape is made from Chuck Norris' underwear
When Chuck Norris makes his coffee in the morning, he grinds the beans with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.
Chuck Norris is the force.
Chuck Norris beat a man to death with his own corpse
Chuck Norris already roundhouse'd Pluto out of tyhe solar system, he's going for Uranus next.
Chuck Norris can't see dead people, Chuck Norris makes dead people.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen, oxygen needs him
Chuck Norris has the most original cowboy boots in the world.......the are made out of cowboys.
Chuck Norris can catch your breath......and hold it hostage.
When a young boy wrote "chuck norris" with lowercase letters Chuck Norris made sure he never wrote again.
Chuck Norris allows jokes of himself for one reason: to fufill his hobby of adding names to his list titled, " Authors who will die a horrible blood drenched death via roundhouse kick"
s*it happens, except to Chuck Norris
God was in a jam so he asked Chuck Norris if he could "do him a solid"...... now we have heaven AND earth.
Chuck Norris just took command of the military, all missions past, present, and future have been accomplished
Chuck Norris doesn't T-Bag, he Potatoe Sacks.


LAWLLAWLLAWLLAWLLAWLLAWLLAWL!

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PostPosted: 17 Mar 2009, 16:02 
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Joined: 10 Nov 2008, 18:51
Posts: 14
Jesus once walked on water but Chuck Norris swam through land

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"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country.
He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."
-General George Patton Jr.

Pat 'Irish' O'Brian - Mafia Hitman
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Nukesilo TSRP Veteran Circa 2004-2005


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PostPosted: 04 May 2009, 08:52 
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Joined: 10 Oct 2005, 18:45
Posts: 527
Location: Luxembourg
Chuck Norris is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives PRECISELEY when he means to

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PostPosted: 16 Jun 2009, 18:26 
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Nuke | Medium Poster

Joined: 22 Jul 2008, 00:07
Posts: 184
*Sorry for bump*

Chuck Norris doesn't eat, food just knows that the only safe place from Chuck Norris is inside Chuck Norris.


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PostPosted: 12 Jan 2014, 22:23 
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Joined: 12 Nov 2006, 03:08
Posts: 174
hah


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